Me Too

Well, I’ve been scrolling through Facebook for the last few weeks and noticed two simple words on some of my friends’ pages.  I had no idea what it meant and I’m not usually one to take FB bait, so I just scrolled on by.  Eventually I came across a page that not only had those two words – Me too – but also had an explanation.  Women were being asked to put those two words on their page to signify that they too had been sexually harassed or assaulted.  Hmmmmm.  There were an awful lot of ‘Me toos’. And most of them provided no other information than to say Me too and what it meant.  After a few days I began to see an additional paragraph asking women NOT to just comment ‘Me too’, but to actually copy and paste so that the world could see the vast number of women who had occasion to say ‘Me too’.  So, I joined the world of the Me toos and wrote it in a nice decorative box filled with pink hearts.  Me too. And then I noticed that my middle child had also put a Me too on her page.  What??!! WTH did SHE mean ‘Her too’.  Of course I didn’t comment, but I certainly took the time to send her a text message. Me:”What do you mean ‘Me too’? Her: “Mom.  I told you I was harassed”. (Insert deep sigh here) Phew!! For a second I thought I had missed the signs.  I thought I had somehow ‘allowed’ one of my children to be molested right under my ever watchful eyes. It gave me cause for pause. It is possible.  It is.  I am not exempt from having not been able to protect my children from some abusive males’ predatory desires. I too could have raised a beautiful daughter who someone else felt was ripe for their taking. It made me think about some of the horrific thoughts I’ve had about my mother and her inability to ‘protect’ me from abusive males. Now, I must admit, the difference would’ve been my reaction vs. what hers was when she found out what had been happening to me. She let the identified abusers be in my presence — in MY home.  That I can say wouldn’t have happened – no matter WHO it would have been – husband included! But it did give me a better sense of understanding of the restrictions placed on mothers as they try to raise healthy, happy and whole children.  If I think about it – being a single parent, as my mother was, is a serious game changer.  Having to do EVERYTHING for your children must be totally exhausting.  In my very short stint as a single parent, following my divorce after 26 years of being married, I struggled a little bit in trying to be the Supermom for a budding teenager. Drop offs, pick ups, talks, laundry, dishes… yes, all of that fell on me for a very short while. But after 3 years of doing it ‘on my own’ I still can’t even imagine what it must have been like for some women raising children on their own and often with little means.  I was fortunate enough to be able to give my daughter a car of her own for that last year of high school freeing me from having to drive her to and pick her up from school and gymnastics. Yes, no more UberMom. But I digress… Me too. There were so many instances of it on my feed. So many women that I had no idea have had to deal with some of what I’ve had to deal with as a woman who has been harassed, molested, raped. Yeah, there are far too many Me toos in this world. One thing ‘Me too’ has been very successful in doing is making women realize that they are not alone. No two situations are exactly alike, but they certainly have a lot of similarities.  The loss of the sense of safety and security. The devaluing. The notion that as a woman, our purpose, our raison d’être, is for some male’s physical satisfaction – even if there is no touching, harassment is a violation just the same. In all the familiarity that comes from sharing a ‘Me too’, there is the strength and resolve that only a survivor knows. A strength that, even while breaking down, is present and powerful because the break down serves to present an opportunity to build up, build fresh, build anew. Speaking ‘Me too’, whether by mouth or by hand, says that it’s over.  That I’ve reclaimed my life and while I may struggle, I have come into the knowledge that it is MY life and MY body. ‘Me too’ on a fb post means she is aware. Me Too.






Me Too.

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