I was an avid “Honeymooners” fan in my earlier years, so when I heard the news about Harvey Weinstein and his blatant abuse of women, it was the first thing to pop into my head. I can still hear Ralph Kramden turn to Alice and say, “Harvey? Haarrrrveeey? Harvey is a funny name!”. But to hear the name of Harvey Weinstein and his disregard for the women who were working under him, nothing about it was funny. Not one damn thing! Mostly, I can’t laugh at the memories it conjures up for me. Images of men in positions of authority who use and abuse that position for their own sexual pleasure. So now I wonder how it might have impacted others who have yet to come to terms with their own abuse. Women who were or are triggered by this latest example of sexual misconduct right on the heels of the Bill Cosby accusations.
Do you consider getting help when this happens, or do you crawl deeper into the abyss of sadness and lost youth? I know how hard it gets for me at times when my guard is down and I begin to play the reel of the variety of abuses I suffered at the hands of men who were in positions of authority and chose to use that position to violate me. So I circle the drain like dirty water after a long bath; trying to hold on and stay afloat, but being tugged and pulled toward the darkness of the drain and the long, long drop into nothingness – sewage. Joining myself with sludge and waste into a nearby cesspool.
What am I supposed to do with all of this shit?!
It doesn’t help to sugar coat any of it. There’s no worse stench than sweet on stank! So I take the time that I need to honor the young woman and little girl that was betrayed so egregiously. I am determined to give her voice in hopes of her maturation and growth. To allow her to join the women inside me and feel her strength as we all hold each other close and begin to heal.